more.random.reports
"Lost wives "
Two men met while both were looking for their lost wives.
1st: How does yours look like?
2nd: She is 5"7, 36-24-36, Fair, Black eyes. What about yours?
1st: Forget mine. Lets find yours!!
_______________________________________________
"Friends"
Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend dead.
Wife says, "If you continue to behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends".
_______________________________________________
"Santa's Present"
Small Boy wrote to Santa Claus, "Send me a brother."
Santa wrote back, "SEND ME YOUR MOTHER."
_______________________________________________
"Definition"
What is the definition of Mistress?
Someone between the Mister and Mattress.
_______________________________________________
"W.I.F.E"
Husband asks , "Do u know the meaning of WIFE??"
"It stands for - Wilfully Ignorant Foolish Egomaniac."
Wife replies," No, it represents - With Idiot For Ever !!!"
_______________________________________________
"Differences"
What's the difference between Stress, Tension and Panic?
Stress is when the wife is pregnant.
Tension is when the girlfriend is pregnant,
and Panic is when both are pregnant.
_______________________________________________
"Period"
Teacher: Do you know the importance of the period?
Kid: "Ya, once my sister said she missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our driver ran away.
_______________________________________________
"Yours?"
Woman asks man who is traveling with six children, "Are all these kids yours?"
"No, I work in a condom factory & these are customer complaints."
_______________________________________________
"Confidential vs Confidence"
Sons asks dad for the difference between Confidence and confidential Dad says, you are
my son, i'm confident. Your friend is also my son, that's confidential!
_______________________________________________
"Sex Education"
Mother to her teenage daughter: "I think this is the right time we should talk about sex.
Daughter (Excitedly): "Sure mom, tell me what do you want to know!"
Mother Faints.
Two men met while both were looking for their lost wives.
1st: How does yours look like?
2nd: She is 5"7, 36-24-36, Fair, Black eyes. What about yours?
1st: Forget mine. Lets find yours!!
_______________________________________________
"Friends"
Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend dead.
Wife says, "If you continue to behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends".
_______________________________________________
"Santa's Present"
Small Boy wrote to Santa Claus, "Send me a brother."
Santa wrote back, "SEND ME YOUR MOTHER."
_______________________________________________
"Definition"
What is the definition of Mistress?
Someone between the Mister and Mattress.
_______________________________________________
"W.I.F.E"
Husband asks , "Do u know the meaning of WIFE??"
"It stands for - Wilfully Ignorant Foolish Egomaniac."
Wife replies," No, it represents - With Idiot For Ever !!!"
_______________________________________________
"Differences"
What's the difference between Stress, Tension and Panic?
Stress is when the wife is pregnant.
Tension is when the girlfriend is pregnant,
and Panic is when both are pregnant.
_______________________________________________
"Period"
Teacher: Do you know the importance of the period?
Kid: "Ya, once my sister said she missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our driver ran away.
_______________________________________________
"Yours?"
Woman asks man who is traveling with six children, "Are all these kids yours?"
"No, I work in a condom factory & these are customer complaints."
_______________________________________________
"Confidential vs Confidence"
Sons asks dad for the difference between Confidence and confidential Dad says, you are
my son, i'm confident. Your friend is also my son, that's confidential!
_______________________________________________
"Sex Education"
Mother to her teenage daughter: "I think this is the right time we should talk about sex.
Daughter (Excitedly): "Sure mom, tell me what do you want to know!"
Mother Faints.
